Where to next?

"Sarah, it's the journey that matters, not really the destination". 

This has been my mantra for almost a year now since I've decided to quit my first job simply cause I know what I want (to pursue and stay in the field of psychology). That decision wasn't easy, I was very attached to my first job and I felt lost for the whole year trying to figure out my calling. It's 2022, I'm 26 now and I've come to terms with myself in many aspects of life (e.g. career growth, love life, financial stability, etc). I've learned to lower my expectations from other people and most importantly from myself, of my capabilities and shortcomings, embracing these steps towards the goals I'm working on. Some days, I work on the smaller goals, things like helping my mom in the morning, waking up early, and making breakfast for myself, sometimes for my family. They may seem like a normal daily routine, but on the days where it's tough, they can be impossible to achieve. The bigger goals? Even harder. I find it tough to work on them even when I'm motivated. You see, decision makings are not easy when you battle with conflicting thoughts, when you doubt yourself too much, feeling insecure about the inevitable comparison you make between yourself and your peers. But you know what? The bigger goals are meant to reach their own unique timeline, hence the saying the day you plant your seed is not the day you eat the fruit. We often label success to age, it's so ingrained in us since we're little, even more so as adults. But then again, what are success, love, and stability without contentment? Everyone around us, whether we know them, heard of them, or are purely strangers, battles with something. Now I know, sometimes it's unfair to witness how others have it easy, equipped with better resources at hand. But whether or not we feel grateful for the things we do have, is the real test. The day I learned this is the day where I see and think differently. I realized I can work on my goals, I will reach them with God's grace, but even when I do achieve them, without contentment, I will always question and pinpoint any flaw to discredit myself. So here's what I'm going to do, I will keep embracing this journey, the unknowns will always scare me but I've learned to soldier on and cherish my personal growth. It's still a work in progress, such is life.